March 3, 2025 WHERE DID HAPPINESS G0? Part 3
"Your self-worth is determined by you. You don't have to depend on someone telling you who you are." - Beyoncé
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Listen to this meditation on audio:
Please join me for an imaginary trip. Imagine that your 11 year old's basketball coach shouts the following at her. "You call that a pass? Are you kidding me? A baby could pass better than that! "You call that a shot? It looked more like a pass than a shot! What's wrong with you? I don't think this is ever going to sink into your numb skull! Go sit at the end of the bench!" What do you think that child is going to think of herself as she sits on the bench? She is not going to feel very good about herself after hearing those harsh remarks from a person who should have her best interest at heart. Now, this time let's keep the same action scenario, but add a good coach who understands how to get the best out of his players. A good coach sees the young girls poor pass and follows it up with "OK that pass was a little short
but next time put your legs into it and it'll be better. If your elbows had been just a little higher that would've been a good pass! I can tell that you're really trying! Next time you take that shot make sure you have your balance and it's going to turn out much better! Good job! Good job! In the second scenario, the athlete was given something to work on in order to improve her outcome next time. The question now about those two coaches is, which kind are you, when it comes to your self talk? I will ask that question again. Which kind of coach are you? Too many of us are belittling ourselves with things like "You must be stupid to make a mistake like that! "Are you kidding me dumb dumb?" "What is wrong with you? Can't you do anything right? These examples of negative self talk are probably very mild compared to what some of us actually say to ourselves. The main concept to consider here is that many of us are just like that poor example of a coach in my first scenario. We insult ourselves with harsh words, and probably a few expletives as we practice, poor coaching of ourselves. A good coach tries to to make the best use of a players talent and to improve those talents as time goes by. Negative self talk is bad coaching, plain and simple. If we are serious about reaching anywhere near our full potential, it is imperative that we play the role of a good coach as we strive to achieve the maximum use of our God-given talents. If each one of us will work to become better self-coaches, not only will we see improvement in our performance, but also in our personal happiness. Self acceptance is a major key to waste our personal happiness.
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