February 19, 2025 CHILDREN ARE SMART!
"Children learn more from what you are than from what you teach.”
- .E.B. DuBois
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Listen to this meditation on audio:
Children are so much smarter than parents think they are. They learn very quickly what works and what does not work with each parent. The parent with whom they spend the most time is naturally more susceptible to manipulation by their children. Day after day, they get to see how you operate, what you tolerate and how far they can push you before you say "enough." As parents, it is crucial that we are aware of this almost innate ability of our children to size us up. In a very short time, they learn which parent to petition about getting certain things and which one to avoid on those subjects. If both parents are not single minded, and on one accord about how to raise and discipline their children, those crafty little people will quickly learn how to manipulate the more compliant parent to get what they want from the other parent. Because we love our children, there is a certain amount of latitude we give them as they seek to get from us that which they desire. In fact, it is sometimes amusing to observe how easy it is to detect their attempts to ply from us their latest desire. As long as we as parents are clear about who's the parent and who's the child, their antics are basically harmless. It is when we become overly concerned about whether our children are going to like or dislike us because we make the right decisions for them, that we as parents can get ourselves into difficult situations. In my 20+ years in the classroom, I have too often seen the negative effect on a child's behavior and productivity in class that is largely caused by parents who seemingly fear being disliked by their children if they insist on the proper respect and school performance. Please let me assure you the children who are subjected to reasonable expectations and age-appropriate boundaries feel more secure and loved than those without them. Children desire, and need our approval as parents. Without providing some kind of basic structure and expectations for our children's lives, there will be very little on which we can compliment them. Remember, adults need and will work for compliments. Children are no different. Compliments will always outweigh criticism. Frequent compliments for desired behavior and achievements, will generally lead to more complimentable behavior.s... Striving to be a person of character seems like a worthy goal; a goal truly worth pursuing. I wonder what profound difference it would make in each of our lives if we had a reputation for honesty, integrity, and reliability. Something to ponder and perhaps pursue!
© 2025 Detroit Flanagan
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