August 28, 2024: Friendship is Key
"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."
⁃ Friedrich Nietzsche
A beautiful 58 year marriage to my best friend and high school sweetheart, who passed away in 2021, taught me the quintessential thing that makes a good, strong, intimate and loving marriage. While there are a number of factors that are important contributors to a happy marriage, such as mutual interests, being evenly yoked, spiritually and/or intellectually, or just accepting each other as you are, the all important attribute in the numerous successful marriages I have personally witnessed in my 81 years, is having a bona fide true friendship with one's spouse. Think about the many storms, we have weathered with our friends, how we are always encouraging and supporting them through their good and difficult times. Although there are things we could criticize, we many times set those aside and just lend caring support to our friends. Unfortunately, and too frequently, we are better and more loyal to our friends, than to our spouses. The key, then to strengthening our marriages, if that is needed, is to work on building stronger friendships with those persons we promised to love and cherish till death do us part. I can't guarantee anything, but if you want to give yourselves a chance to see some profound improvement in your relationship, you might try this. For the next 30 days, forget that you are husband and wife and pretend that you are just two good friends sharing a common abode; two good friends showing each other, the kind of consideration, caring, and kindness that you show to your friends. I would love to get feedback from anyone who gives this exercise a try. Marriage should be for life. So whatever it takes to build a happy, intimate, loving marriage is truly, truly worth the effort.
© 2024 Detroit Flanagan
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